Social media and being connected have changed the way of life in America. The way we communicate, shop and entertain ourselves are only a few of the things that have changed. Games like Angry Birds, Farmville, Candy Crush and Words with Friends are just a few of the addicting games that we find ourselves mindlessly drawn to. I did spend a lot of time on Farmville for awhile. I had this gorgeous plantation that was eating up way too much of my time. That was about four years ago. One day I decided that it was all completely silly and deleted it. I quit cold turkey and never looked back. I didn't have to look back. I discovered Words With Friends and decided that it was less time consuming because I didn't have to come back and water crops by a certain time which was making me crazy. I actually had friends sign onto my account and water my crops at one point--that was before I quit. Anyway, back to WWF. Not World Wrestling Federation--Words With Friends. I started playing it in 2012 and it seemed the perfect game for me. It is pretty much Scrabble against your friends. The app shows you which of your FB friends are playing and you challenge them. Over the years I have played several friends, classmates and relatives. Some kick my ass and with others I do the ass kicking. I personally like the close games. It is part chance and part luck because you can't know what letters you are going to get. There are those who use "cheater" apps to help them find words. I don't begrudge them, I just don't play that way myself. I rely on my own limited vocabulary and luck. Unlike Scrabble where you have a physical board and people sitting there waiting for you--with WWF you have all the time in the world to come up with a word and can throw your letters up in all types of odd formations to try to get something that the rules say is a word. I have tried to invent many words that I think look great but the computer doesn't recognize. It is a somewhat brainless activity that helps me to pastime. One of the people that I found to play against was my first grade boyfriend who broke my heart when he moved away after the third grade. He lived down the street and I loved riding bikes and climbing trees with him. He did visit me once our senior year when he was in town. I had just had a bad break up with a boyfriend and I was a blubbering mess so I don't really remember the visit. I'm sure I didn't impress him much because I didn't hear from him again until I found him on FB and sent out a friend request. He became my favorite person to play WWF with. I had probably 15 games going at once with him. He beat me most of the time, but lately I was winning more. I played against him for 2 1/2 years. That is a long time to consistently play a game. I knew that someday one of us would tire of it. During our games we seldom talked or sent messages. In all of the time I played against him I knew he was a sound engineer, a musician, he moved from Arizona to Nashville and when my dad was diagnosed he told me his mom also was fighting cancer. We probably had less than ten real conversations and didn't really communicate much outside of the game. I honestly don't know if he is married, has ever been married, has kids, has pets, has other hobbies--it didn't really matter. He was someone I played a game against. He got me through four of Kyle's surgeries, my dad's illness and other times when I needed a distraction and my phone was handy. I played in the morning when I first woke up, sometimes during the day if there was time, then again during the evening before bed. I didn't see it as an addiction, though maybe it was. I looked forward to playing and made time for it. It took away from my reading and my writing so it wasn't 100% healthy. I was trying to cut back though and was playing about once a day in April when he suddenly disappeared. Over the course of the 2.5 years we played there were times when he didn't play for a day or two. I never worried. We all have lives and sometimes things take priority over a game you play on your phone. I know on my end that I kind of thought of him as a friend. I know friends usually actually communicate, but he was always there playing on the other end so that in itself was enough.
In April there were three days in a row that he didn't play. In the past this wouldn't have worried me. For some reason, this time around I knew he was gone. He wasn't going to be coming back. The games sit there for twelve days before they will automatically end themselves due to lack of activity. When the twelve days were up I did challenge him to another game just in case. I put a little message on the game asking if all was okay. I had many different thoughts going through my head. The most likely is that he realized that the game was an addiction and freed himself up to do other things. I wish he would have said good-bye, but why would he? I'm a person he plays WWF with, I'm not really a friend. He doesn't even know me. I may have told him about my father. I may have told him about Kyle's surgeries~but that was just in passing while trying to rack up points on a triple word tile. Though I am sure he is fine, what if he isn't? What if he got into a horrific accident, lost his mother, got arrested, was kidnapped by pirates or space aliens or is in a coma. I'm trying to be funny, but what if........ There is also the chance that he found success with his band, got busy with family, fell in or out of love....the possibilities are endless. I am of course curious. I'm also paranoid--what if he read on my FB that I am 250 pounds and doesn't want to associate with a chunky soccer mom from Oregon? What if he found out I am not really political, lean towards spirituality and believe in same sex marriage. That is my own insecurity talking. Who cares what I weigh or what I believe in--it is a game we are playing. Friends come in all shapes, sizes, colors, personality types, sexual orientations, religions, etc. I'm sure that I am completely off base. His absence is one of those mysteries I may never solve. It just makes me sad for some reason. I will miss him next week when Kyle goes in for surgery number five. I do have other friends who will play with me and get me through. Those friends are only playing 1-2 games apiece with me.
When I tried explaining my strange sadness of the situation to a friend she said she got it. That I had formed an attachment through our shared game addiction. She said in my mind he is a friend, not merely an acquaintance. She didn't think it would be weird at all for me to try to message him on FB to see if everything is okay. I have a way of over thinking everything. She knows this about me. If I find the right words maybe I will message him. I really should so that I don't come up with a thousand different fictional reasons why he disappeared. In the meantime, I have cut back on my own playing time. I've read more books this month and I'm spending my morning before work blogging instead of playing on my phone.
