Building a blog........

I have been told by many this past year that I should start a blog.  I have not been dragging my heels because honestly, who would want to read it??  I also have this fear of technology which doesn't make any sense at all.  I love gadgets and the thought of gadgets.  I hate reading directions and trying to remember how to run all of my gadgets.  In the past my children have all been happy to help me maintain my Laptop, Ipod and phone.  With them being young adults now, the novelty has worn off.  It is time for  me to figure things out on my own. Like this blog.  I am sure there are all kinds of ways to start a blog, make it it the greatest blog ever and find all sorts of willing people to follow along.  With a little luck I just might figure it all out.

I have spent the past two years on a Spiritual journey of sorts.  I have been trying to remember who it was that I wanted to be when I grew up, what I wanted to accomplish and what I really believe in.  It seems I have been sidetracked with raising children, paying bills and blending in.   Like many others I have gained weight, fought depression, taken whatever job would help pay the bills and muddled along.  These past twenty years have been fine.  I have not been unhappy.  I have maintained long time friendships, made great new friends, have had some great adventures and have a pretty good life.  It is just time to start thinking of the next chapter.  I have a long list of things that I would still like to accomplish and I am either right at or a little past the halfway point.   If I want that long, healthy life, the items marked off of the bucket list and to accomplish my goals, I am going to have to make some changes.  

I had always thought that I would be writing.  It is what I love to do and what I aspired for when I was younger. There are so many stories and possible novels started on  my computer that it is almost funny.  I have great ideas but no self confidence and terrible follow through.   I also have a hard time focusing on one direction.  Though most of what I write is fiction, there is also non-fiction and a children's book started as well.   They all have potential, but not if they sit in a forgotten file on my desktop forever.  

It seems that researching stories is much more fun than the actual writing.  My stories have lives of their own and when they turn corners into places that I didn't expect I have to go investigating.  My writing has led me to an interest in the paranormal, to meditation, psychics, mediums and a new look at world religions.  It has been interesting compiling knowledge and experiencing some amazing things, but now I need to decide what I believe in, what I want to incorporate into my life and where I want it to take me.

Being a chameleon has always worked for me.  I hate confrontation and want to please everyone.  It gets exhausting and after so many years of steering clear of politics, religion and any other possible topic that can ignite debate, I have to wonder what I do believe in.  I honestly have no real interest in politics.  I know I should.  I know that my voice counts and that I have the right to vote that many people fought for.  I just never feel that I know enough about the issues.  I have spent so many years trying to see the good in everyone that I get easily mixed up with the issues when the politicians start their doublespeak.  It seems everyone has an agenda and even the very best initiatives have a downside.  Maybe I just need to embrace the fact that I am not meant to be political, leave voting and politics to those who really understand them and stick to the things I do feel passionate about.

Religion is hard for me.  I spent my childhood hearing the fire and brimstone preaching that focuses heavily on the "Thou Shalt Not" and fearing God and His wrath.  If God is Love and grace, compassion and forgiveness are all part of the package then why do those who profess to be such devout Christians spend so much time pointing fingers and judging?  I do remember the Bible saying "Judge not lest ye be judged".   It is not my job to judge anyone.  I have enough trouble not judging myself daily, I am in no position to judge anyone else.  I believe in being a positive influence in the lives of others.  I want to help others be the best that they can be and would hope that others would want the same for me.  Maybe that is naive, but there is so much darkness in this world, I choose to be a light.  I believe in God, I love Jesus, but I also believe there is so much more that we have yet to understand.  I believe in the paranormal, I believe that there are mediums that are light workers, I believe we are not alone in the universe and I believe that the truth is always stranger than fiction.   In the past it has been hard for me to voice the things I believe in because I have feared being judged.

I guess this is the way to blog.  Just sit in front of the computer, start typing and see what comes out.   It should be interesting.  I may learn something, you may learn something if you decide to follow along. I just ask that you stay positive when commenting.  I am working to surround myself with positive people.  It is so true that if you want to be happy you need to let go of the negative, forgive, leave the past behind you and be true to yourself.  I have been blessed with a husband and children who accept me for who I am, understand my quirkiness, have patience with my tangents and love me unconditionally.   I hope that I will always be able to life people's spirits, make people laugh and at the very least be entertaining.