My head is spinning..........

My head is spinning.  I am not sure how this happened so fast.  Late in the week I got a phone call from a National Television show asking if I would consider coming on to talk about a letter I wrote.  I told them that  I would be willing if the person I wrote the letter about was also willing.  Since she also wrote a letter, I thought it was possible she would agree.  I do not know what her letter said, I don't even know what my letter said!  I wrote the letter in a moment of frustration and hit send.  I sent it out into Cyberspace and thought that was the end of it.  National Television shows do not call me, that happens to other people.

What I want you all to remember during this journey is that the people on this show are real.  They have found themselves in situations that need resolved.  Situations where there are no other avenues left.   If I had the money and resources to investigate on my own I would.  I had to go to someone with a small army, a big budget and the means to find answers.  These answers are not for me.  They are for a friend, our larger group of friends who have been worried and the family of my friend.  We all have questions.  We all have concerns.  If after all is said and done my friend needs help with healing, this show will help.  I would not have trusted this situation with just any show.  I only wrote to one.

With that said, my blogging about the situation for the next few days will be about my journey.  This is from my perspective.  My friend is on a separate journey and soon we will meet up in LA where we will find answers.

It seems things on talk shows happen very quickly.  At least in my case they do.  I don't know if this is the norm because things like this don't happen to me.   I received a call on Wednesday asking if I was interested in talking further.  On Thursday I was told my friend was in and that they wanted to do a phone interview with me. The phone interview was a long series of questions from my address, to personal questions, have I been incarcerated, do I have any big tattoos that aren't covered by my clothing, etc.  It was a bit weird, but I answered the questions and wondered where this was leading. On Friday I was e-mailed documents to sign and send back; later that day I was told I would be flown to LA on Monday.   On Saturday I was told my flight times.  Today I received my itinerary, tomorrow I leave.  

I don't know about everyone else, but I live paycheck to paycheck.  I wish I could have budgeted for a trip to LA.  The show will pay for air, hotel and meals.  I don't need to worry about those things.  I do have all day Tuesday on my own to explore.  What do you do in LA on a budget for one day all alone?  I will have to see what my mood is on Tuesday.  I may people watch at Santa Monica pier, I may go check out the Stars on the walk of Fame.

The show assigns a person to you who calls to talk, to ask questions, to answer questions and to put you at ease.  I have been assigned to a very nice young guy who has all of the patience in the world.  He has to listen to me ramble and talk to me like we are old friends.  I love talking to people and can just talk away, I have no clue what he is really thinking.  He is polite, funny and reassuring, so he is doing his job well.  I hope they pay him good and that he climbs the ladder.  I do wonder if they ever get any time off since he has had to talk to me several times since Thursday night.  He is there to put me at ease if I completely freak out.  I am trying so hard not to freak out on him.

I had to talk to him about clothes cause I am a girl and I am going on TV.  I hate worrying about how I am going to look.  It isn't about me.  Still I am putting myself out there and I don't want to look super awful.  What if the lighting is weird and my teeth look green?  What if I break out in stress acne tomorrow morning on my flight?  What if my already chunky frame looks ten times bigger on TV?  Who cares--- I am a 47 year old soccer mom who has a family who loves me and an army of friends who probably like me or at the very least are entertained by me.   I will survive. It is just surreal.  LA is a foreign country to me. I asked if I could wear jeans and tennis shoes.  I was told I needed to dress professional/casual.  He suggested slacks.  Chunky girls need just the right slacks.  The slacks in my closet would all look awesome on me if I could lose 15 pounds.  I don't think I will lose 15 pounds by tomorrow.  I wish.  Not happening, so I had to go slack shopping.  Slack shopping sucks!!  Try saying that three times fast.   It doesn't help when your co-pilot on the slack shopping exhibition is your size 1 daughter.   Help me......I used to be a cute, skinny thing that looked good in anything. I had to tell a guy from Hollywood that I weigh over 200 pounds.  That isn't a weight any woman wants to be, but it is where I am at.  The thing is that 215-220 pounds is big, but it isn't huge.  In the books I read they say things like she was grossly obese, over 200 pounds for sure.  No--grossly obese is way over 200 pounds.  Yes, I am losing it.

I leave Portland at noon tomorrow and fly to Burbank.  I will be picked up and whisked to a studio in order to do a taped interview.  For tomorrow I am supposed to do my own hair and make-up.  Scary thought.  This is  me, the girl who barely ever wears make-up though I should.  I have eye-liner.  That is my usual make-up.  I fight with my hair most days.  It could use a good color.  I don't want to color it tonight, if I do, it will be very bright tomorrow.  Maybe I should.  I don't know.  I am freaking out. No, I am not going to call my show contact and ask him if I should color my hair.  I am not high maintenance, why am I acting like it??   After buying my slacks last night I decided I needed some foundation.   I don't buy foundation.  I was at JC Penneys, not a high end store.  I figured I could just buy foundation there and save myself the extra trip over to Target.  Why didn't I go to Target???  I asked the girl about foundation.  She asked me some kind of make up questions that were totally foreign to me and I just gave her a blank stare.  I said I didn't like wearing make up and that I wanted something that was light, but covered whatever needed to be covered.  She directed me to a foundation and told me it was just what I was looking for.  I took it up to the counter along with my jeans and some water proof eye liner.   I know I'm going to cry.  I cry watching the news.   They rang the purchase up and I was a little floored by the total.  I tried to be cool though.  I smiled and took my bag.  As soon as I got around the corner I pulled out the receipt.  Who the Hell pays $46 for a bottle of foundation???  I better look at least 10 years younger on tape tomorrow.  Oh and 10 pounds lighter too!  It was Penneys!!  My daughter asked if we should return it.  The smart answer would have been Yes!  But no, I was to embarrassed to take it right back and decided that since I probably won't buy more for a few years, this bottle will last me. God help me when my husband finds out I spent that much on a bottle of make-up.  

I need to quit rambling and go pack.  I don't know if I will blog from LA.  I only have my new I Phone with me, no computer.  I am sure I can blog on the I phone if I can figure it out. May or may not find the time.  I realize this post is all over the place.  Like I said, my head is spinning.