Here is a post that I started back on a snowy January day. Not sure it was worth finding and rewording, but it does have its merits:
It has been a rough few weeks with an overload of politics in the media and snowpocolypse making some of us stir crazy and little on edge. When I don't have my nose in a book or using blog therapy to de-clutter my busy mind I like to lose myself in music. Music was my first form of therapy though I didn't realize that was what it was. Growing up I had my own record player and a collection of 45's by the time I was six. I loved American Pie~even though you had to turn the record over halfway through the song which totally disrupted the flow. My brother broke my Donny Osmond "Puppy Love" single because I played it over and over too many times and apparently drove him to the brink of temporary insanity. I cried to "Billy Don't Be a Hero", "Season's in the Sun" and a sad song called "Rocky"by Austin Roberts. These were the ballads of my elementary school years that I would sing loudly in the shower, to my friends and in the car. I sang constantly which probably made more than a few people crazy since I have no musical talent to speak of. I grew up in a small town where our elementary school was blessed with the best Music Teacher ever in my opinion. Miss Killip taught us "One Tin Soldier", "Puff the Magic Dragon", "Windy" and "Seattle" which were added to the set list of my personal performances. In 2015 we were lucky enough to have her come to our multi class reunion to lead a few of us in a sing along that took us back forty years. Sitting with some of my classmates reliving music class was an experience that I feel so lucky to have had. I don't think that Miss Killip has an inkling of how many lives she touched and the happiness she brought to a town full of kids in the 70's.
In the fourth grade I received one of those boxy tape recorders that had the wood grain finish. I would sit for hours waiting for my favorite song to come on the radio and pray that the DJ wouldn't talk over the first lines. I'd sit and work to decipher the lyrics never dreaming that someday something called Google would magically pull up the lyrics to songs just by typing in a few words or a line. My children will never understand the hours of waiting for a certain song to come on the radio. The heartache of breaking a favorite record or not being able to find that little plastic thing that went in the middle of a 45 so that you could play it on your record player. Sometimes your cassette player would eat your favorite cassette and you prayed that you could fix it by using a pencil to help you spool it back together. The sadness you felt when everything went quickly from 8 track to cassette and you were left with all of these useless 8 track albums that you couldn't play anymore.
I can't even begin to make a dent in all of the artists who I love to listen to on any given day depending on my mood and what memories I want to invoke. Journey takes me back to White Salmon cruising around in Michael Bini's Pink Cadillac. Duran Duran reminds me of my amazing Walkman with the double jack ~ my best friend Linette and I could listen at the same time. Traci Eccles' VW Bug cranked out Cheap Trick with strict instructions that we couldn't sing along and ruin the experience. Bohemian Rhapsody is a song of two Kelly/Kelli's. I first heard it in Kelly Van Alstine's room and was instantly in love. I passed that love to my children. My daughter Kelli and I love to sing it in the car and bang our heads like Wayne and Garth in Wayne's World when it starts rocking near the end. Van Halen's Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love also reminds me of my childhood friend Kelly. A trailer park at Spring Street Trailer Court is where my friend Angie Graves and I discovered Aerosmith and "Toys In the Attic". On a fourth grade spelling test we were all whispering the words to "Saturday Night" by the Bay City Rollers under our breath so that we could make sure to get the correct spelling of Saturday. A neighbor names Lisa Marks loved the Bay City Rollers and we'd listen to them for hours as we poured over Tiger Beat Magazine. I could go on for hours but I think you get it. There are dozens and dozens more songs and memories.
In 1981 as I was about to enter my sophomore year of High School MTV came on the air. Due to the fact that many bands hadn't yet recorded music videos we were introduced to some obscure one hit wonders who did have music videos. "Fish Heads" by Barnes & Barnes, "Mexican Radio" by Wall of Voodoo and "Video Killed the Radio Star" by the Buggles were a few of my new favorites.
In college I loved the album Purple Rain by Prince. I was a bit shocked but thrilled when my husband bought a Prince CD to play in his truck several years ago. We differ in our music tastes most of the time but there are moments when we wholeheartedly agree on an artist. Besides Prince we love Pink and Matchbox 20. We have a hard time traveling together because like my friend Traci in high school, he doesn't appreciate me singing along and ruining the experience. I love him but I prefer road trips with my daughter and friends like Shannon who put up with me when I say "I love this song" for the hundredth time as we barrel down the road with the music cranked and me singing at the top of my lungs. Bad as it is, I'm happy when I'm singing. My road trip play list is an eclectic mix of old and new that puts me on an emotional roller coaster but I don't mind. I have always been a fan of Meatloaf's Bat Out of Hell album. My son Kyle fell in love with Dream On by Aerosmith when he was three and to this day that is his ring tone on our phones. I laughed pretty hard when I realized my son Nicholas knew all of the words to "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor.
I have had the opportunity to take a few road trips with my daughter recently. Our shared love for music and singing loudly in the car makes for stress free moments and leads us on long strolls down memory lane. I have always been a lover of music and a listener of lyrics. To me the lyrics are just as important as the music itself. There are lines in songs that can make me laugh, bring me to tears and evoke bright, colorful memories. I love the fact that someone out there is able to find words that describe my emotions when I can't find those words myself. I think I just might start writing posts about my favorite lyrics. This one has gone on long enough though. Never underestimate the power of music.
Wednesday, May 3, 2017
Savor the Silver Linings
In a perfect world there would be plenty of extra hours to do all of the things on my to do list as well as an abundance of energy to ensure that I'm able to make it all happen. My world is far from perfect so here I sit trying to figure out which of the dozens of blog ideas floating around in my head will finally get typed into reality. It has been a few months since I've sat in front of a blank screen to actually unclog my brain. I have what my meditation guru calls Monkey Brain. It is constantly going 1000 miles per hour in several different directions. When I don't take time to sit and clear it out my head spins in circles and I feel completely overwhelmed. Needless to say I haven't meditated, blogged, hiked or done any of the things recently that help calm me down and keep me sane. I haven't fallen over the edge into insanity yet thankfully! Today I am taking a bit of time out of this gloriously sunny day to breathe, think and regroup.
For those of you who have read my blogs before, thank you. I don't actually write with the intention that anyone will ever actually read it. I am always hopeful that if my words do find their way to someone that they glean something helpful or at least a bit entertaining from anything I have to say.
My year has been complicated a bit so far by my dogs who are no longer on speaking terms, my children who are all planning to move shortly and by my desire to juggle several projects at once. I will address the dogs in a separate blog since that is an ongoing drama that will hopefully get a happy ending in the next six to eight weeks. My fingers are crossed that my children find fitting apartments and be settled in during that time frame as well. I worry about my kids--most moms do. I know they will be fine but I give myself a little time each day to worry about them. I say a few prayers, shoo away the worst case scenario visions that cross my brain and hope for the best.
They say that settling into a new home takes at least a year. I believe it. We have been in Canby now for over 9 months. There is still a mountain of boxes in the garage, projects that need to be done in order to finish unpacking and a wish list a mile long. We are slowly getting there but some days it all just makes me tired. I love our house, our neighborhood and our new community--I just don't feel settled yet. Maybe getting the dogs situated, getting the kids' stuff out of the mountain in the garage and finding time to sit back and relax will help.
In the midst of worrying over dogs and kids I am working more than I was, slowly losing weight, trying to maneuver my way through Ancestry.Com to work on genealogy, planning a couple of big trips, attempting to be a productive member of the paranormal group I belong to, falling behind on putting the reunion together for this summer and beating myself up over being a bad daughter, mother, mother-in-law, grandma, niece, sister and friend to all of those who are wondering where the Hell I've been. I usually read 1-2 books per week--I haven't read a book in over a month. I have hundreds of pictures sitting in the media room waiting for me to do a picture project that has been on my to do list for the past three years. The project moved with us and is still taunting me! I really, really need to remember the lessons from my stress management class on time management skills. There aren't enough hours in the day--damn me for needing sleep! Just typing all of this makes me want a nap. Looking at my calendar I can possibly manage a nap after the Timbers play on Mother's Day afternoon. If it is sunny though we may need to get some yard work done at that time!
So far it seems all I'm doing is whining about all of the things I have to do and not having the time to do them. I need to turn all of that around. I am super blessed to have children and dogs to worry about. I am lucky to be healthy and to have hobbies that keep me busy. I am happy to have friends and relatives who would like to see me and hundreds of pictures that represent memories. Yes-I am tired. Yes-I am overwhelmed. I am also grateful for my life and every little detail--good and bad.
It is very important to take a bit of time each day to be grateful. We take so much for granted and sometimes the stress of the day takes the shine off of what we are so lucky to have. I am really trying to focus more on being grateful, kind and positive. Keeping a positive outlook changes not only your attitude but the attitude of those around you. We went through a lot of craziness to end up in this beautiful new home so how can I be unhappy about the amount of time it is taking to settle in? I'm not unhappy. I had unrealistic expectations of my ability to get certain things done in a set amount of time. No one is timing me though--life isn't a race. I will get the projects done when I get them done. I will lose weight when I lose weight. I will do my best to spend quality time with family and friends. I will be the best dog mom that I can be and I will savor the silver linings. There is a sky filled with clouds but every damn one of them has a silver lining if you look for it.
For those of you who have read my blogs before, thank you. I don't actually write with the intention that anyone will ever actually read it. I am always hopeful that if my words do find their way to someone that they glean something helpful or at least a bit entertaining from anything I have to say.
My year has been complicated a bit so far by my dogs who are no longer on speaking terms, my children who are all planning to move shortly and by my desire to juggle several projects at once. I will address the dogs in a separate blog since that is an ongoing drama that will hopefully get a happy ending in the next six to eight weeks. My fingers are crossed that my children find fitting apartments and be settled in during that time frame as well. I worry about my kids--most moms do. I know they will be fine but I give myself a little time each day to worry about them. I say a few prayers, shoo away the worst case scenario visions that cross my brain and hope for the best.
They say that settling into a new home takes at least a year. I believe it. We have been in Canby now for over 9 months. There is still a mountain of boxes in the garage, projects that need to be done in order to finish unpacking and a wish list a mile long. We are slowly getting there but some days it all just makes me tired. I love our house, our neighborhood and our new community--I just don't feel settled yet. Maybe getting the dogs situated, getting the kids' stuff out of the mountain in the garage and finding time to sit back and relax will help.
In the midst of worrying over dogs and kids I am working more than I was, slowly losing weight, trying to maneuver my way through Ancestry.Com to work on genealogy, planning a couple of big trips, attempting to be a productive member of the paranormal group I belong to, falling behind on putting the reunion together for this summer and beating myself up over being a bad daughter, mother, mother-in-law, grandma, niece, sister and friend to all of those who are wondering where the Hell I've been. I usually read 1-2 books per week--I haven't read a book in over a month. I have hundreds of pictures sitting in the media room waiting for me to do a picture project that has been on my to do list for the past three years. The project moved with us and is still taunting me! I really, really need to remember the lessons from my stress management class on time management skills. There aren't enough hours in the day--damn me for needing sleep! Just typing all of this makes me want a nap. Looking at my calendar I can possibly manage a nap after the Timbers play on Mother's Day afternoon. If it is sunny though we may need to get some yard work done at that time!
So far it seems all I'm doing is whining about all of the things I have to do and not having the time to do them. I need to turn all of that around. I am super blessed to have children and dogs to worry about. I am lucky to be healthy and to have hobbies that keep me busy. I am happy to have friends and relatives who would like to see me and hundreds of pictures that represent memories. Yes-I am tired. Yes-I am overwhelmed. I am also grateful for my life and every little detail--good and bad.
It is very important to take a bit of time each day to be grateful. We take so much for granted and sometimes the stress of the day takes the shine off of what we are so lucky to have. I am really trying to focus more on being grateful, kind and positive. Keeping a positive outlook changes not only your attitude but the attitude of those around you. We went through a lot of craziness to end up in this beautiful new home so how can I be unhappy about the amount of time it is taking to settle in? I'm not unhappy. I had unrealistic expectations of my ability to get certain things done in a set amount of time. No one is timing me though--life isn't a race. I will get the projects done when I get them done. I will lose weight when I lose weight. I will do my best to spend quality time with family and friends. I will be the best dog mom that I can be and I will savor the silver linings. There is a sky filled with clouds but every damn one of them has a silver lining if you look for it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)