Hooked on a Feeling

I believe that I have mentioned in a post or two before that I have Monkey Brain.  That is what my mediation teacher told me.  My brain is busy constantly which can be exhausting.  That is why I need to meditate more, but that's another story.   My monkey brain keeps me awake some nights.  It is hard to sleep when you are juggling so many different thoughts.  Last night I was plagued by a song that wouldn't stop playing in my head.  Does that happen to everyone.  A song will just start playing and won't shut the hell up.

Sometimes  my memory fails me.   I can remember phone numbers of at least three of my childhood friends and maybe even my grandparents.  I can remember the names of grade school teachers, kids who only lived in the area shortly, the lyrics of thousands of songs, but I can't remember the cell phone numbers of my own children.  I lose words sometimes.  I will be talking and it will be a normal every day word that stops me in my tracks.  Something like coincidence or compare.  I have to stop in the middle of a sentence and actually think.

Somewhere in my brain there is a store room filled with song lyrics.  Something will start playing on the radio and I can sing along.  Ask me to sing it without the music and I may only know a word or two.   Sometimes, like last night a song that I haven't heard for years will high jack my brain for no apparent reason.   I was able to do at least one verse of that song.  You must remember it--Blue Suede--1974.  Ooga Chaka, Ooga Chaka, Ooga-Ooga-Ooga Chaka.  I I I I I'm Hooked on a Feeling (bomp bod da ba) High on Believing (bomp bod da ba) that I'm in love with you........  I picture myself in Pam and Shelly Kerber's basement singing along at the top of my voice.  Nine years old and independent as Hell.  I really thought I could sing too.  I didn't know what "tone deaf" meant!  As soon as I typed in "Pam and Shelly Kerber's basement" more songs came into my head--The Locomotion, One Tin Soldier and another song sitting on the periphery of my memory teasing me with the words motion and ocean.  Of course I am Googling like mad--hoping to find it before it drives me crazy.   "Girl I'd like to know where you got the motion, girl I'd like to know where you got the motion--rock the boat, don't rock the boat baby, rock the boat, don't tip the boat over, rock the boat, don't rock the boat baby".  Okay--Google found it.  My nine year old self did not know the word notion.  It is "So I'd like to know where you got the notion".  No motion, no girl, just rocking the boat like a ship on the ocean.   I don't even remember a band called the Hues Corporation.   It seems this is another 1974 song under that lovely genre of disco.

My husband and I have a different take on music because he is interested in the music portion which is important, but I am all about the lyrics.  There are a few songs that I admit are very catchy and get in my head even though the lyrics are not at all what I would want them to be.  The one that cracks  my daughter up is Buck Cherry's "Crazy Bitch".  If you don't know it, Google the lyrics.  Just remember that it is very graphic and if you dislike cursing it isn't a good idea for you to go there.  It is very inappropriate, but it has a great beat and gets stuck in my head.  It sometimes lodges itself in my head at the most inopportune times.  It isn't a song you want anyone to hear you singing.

For whatever reason there are songs out there that repel me.  I hear them and want to immediately change the station.  I cannot stand "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga.  Why?  No clue--maybe it got stuck in there one night and my subconscious mind decided that it had enough and vetoed it for life.  Anyone with children of a certain age may cringe if they hear the Barney Song.   This year there is a Shutterfly commercial that has driven me insane.  It is the one where they sing "I'm gonna mail myself to you.".  I may have found it a little cute the first time that I heard it.  By the fifth time I was over it.  Now that it has played over and over since  before Thanksgiving I want to shoot the TV whenever it comes on.  Antone is the master of the remote, so he of course either turns it up or starts singing along to it.  Would it be assault if I threw my shoes at him?  Earlier this week the damn song wouldn't let me sleep.  I decided to re-write it.  I came up with two viable options.  Instead of "Mail Myself to You" I took the liberty of changing it to "Sell Myself to You".  

Version 1:
I'm gonna paint my face with makeup
I'm gonna show my stamp tramp tattoo
I'm gonna put on a short skirt and high heeled shoes
Then I'm gonna sell myself to you

Version 2:
I'm gonna shoot some crystal meth
smoke a joint and and drink a brew
I'm gonna do a line of cocaine
Then I'm gonna sell myself to you

Of course I have no idea what people do with Crystal Meth so not sure if they shoot it but for the sake of the song I decided it was valid.  I could Google that, but what if my kids look at my Internet history and see me Googling Crystal Meth use.  They may think that I'm getting ready to start a new fad diet.  Doubtful, but you never know.  As a curious writer I google a lot of weird stuff.  Thank God for Google.  If it wasn't for Google I may be singing the word douche in Blinded by the Light or about motion instead of notion in rock the boat.  Google is also the great tool that taught me to correctly spell Ooga Chaka from Hooked on a Feeling which started this whole tirade.   I may have typed Ugga Chugga!