When I wrote a letter to a famous television psychologist asking for help for my friend, I honestly thought that the letter would disappear into cyberspace oblivion and that would be the end of it. I was hopeful and excited when I was contacted for the show. I know that thousands of people probably write to the show each week looking for help for various situations. I thought my friends' situation was bad. It seemed bad to me. She had given $30,000 to a stranger and was not listening to her friends and family when they told her she was being scammed. I wanted the good Dr. to set her straight and to help her get her life going back in the right direction. The show has an army of investigators and has helped so many people.
I was nervous traveling to Hollywood and facing my friend after months of not really talking because we couldn't get past our strong feelings regarding her situation. She saw this move as a way to prove that the love of her life is real and not scamming her. She also saw it as a way to get the large sum of money he supposedly wants to gift her. I saw it as a way to finally break through her stubborn resolve and prove to her that her friends and family were right in their assessment of the situation.
I learned so much in LA. I learned that she was pretty much estranged from all of her family and friends, that she had been helping him with strange and sketchy requests like sending cell phones, helping procure lists of medical professionals in Canada to sell supposed medical supplies to and that the amount of money had grown from the $30,000 to a much larger amount. Of course I would never have guessed the amount and was shocked when I learned the truth.
We did manage to have fun in LA, we put the reason we were there on a shelf and enjoyed a little time just being old friends on an adventure. It was fun right up until the show started taping. As soon as she took the stage and started arguing with the doctor I knew that there was no hope of him getting through to her. The fun and loving friend turned into an argumentative, stubborn woman who refused to believe all of the proof that I had waited almost a year to see. I had confirmation of my worst fears. She was in deep and she was not going to believe anyone. The $30,000 had grown to over $187,000. The man wanted even more and she was planning to send it. It floored me that something so crystal clear to me and everyone else in the world would not be clear to her as well. How could she not see?
I have to be done thinking about this, talking about this and worrying about this for the time being. I know that many people have questions, many people want to help her, she is a smart, beautiful, funny woman who is loved. She just can't see any of that right now. At this time in her life the most important thing is a man on the other side of the world who is pretending to be someone he is not. She has been given proof and warned that she is losing friends, family and her future financial security. It doesn't matter to her at this time. She is an addict whose mind is focused on one thing and cannot see anything else.
I hope someday that she will see the truth. That she will let those who love her help her put her life back together and that she will find real happiness with someone who will love her unconditionally. Until then, please send prayers and try not to be too judgmental. There are reasons why she has chosen this road. They are reasons only she knows. We all make mistakes, we all do things that others question--maybe not to this extent, but none of us are perfect. Sometimes in life we have to accept that we have done our best and move on. Reality sucks sometimes. My reality is that I didn't get the happy ending I was hoping for. I just hope that by taking the story to National Television that maybe others will be educated and not have to go through this heartbreak with the people they love.
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