When I was young I wanted to be many things--a cowgirl, a movie star, a writer but most of all I wanted to be a mother. Some of us are born with some type of natural mothering instinct that makes us want to nurture the world. From a young age I collected strays whether they were animals or people. I believed that enough love could make a difference with any living thing. Give them kindness, show them love and give them self worth--isn't that what mothering is all about? I have since learned that even though motherhood comes with many joys, it also comes with a million little heartaches.
As I read the headlines this morning about the Boston Marathon Bombings and the aftermath I am saddened on so many levels. The bombers were young men, someones sons. Their faces do not betray the anger and hatred that they must have felt in order to commit a crime so heinous. We want evil to be ugly, foreign and recognizable. Yes, the boys were foreign, but they looked like any other young American men who would be out walking in the crowd that day. There was nothing about them that screamed "danger". They packed their backpacks with the intent to kill and were able to carry out their plan even as they walked among smiling people, families and children. I am completely unable to understand such disregard for human life.
My heart breaks for the families of those killed, for the families of those whose fates are still hanging in the balance--there are still victims in critical condition. Numerous limbs were lost, traumatic injuries suffered and lives were changed. The repercussions of this event have been felt around the world. There is a ripple effect that will effect business, travel and major events in the future. Already this week my company has felt the effect of terrorism. Three summer high school groups from China have cancelled their yearly trips because they do not feel safe coming to America. One of those killed was a Chinese Grad Student. I cannot fathom anyone feeling that America isn't safe. Is anywhere safe anymore? Unfortunately terrorists come in all shapes, sizes, color and ages. They are men and women. I won't even try to understand what motivates them. What can really be gained by anger, fear and hatred? We may not live in the world that George Orwell painted in his book 1984, but Big Brother is watching. There are cameras, satellites, and computers everywhere. People have cellphones that send photos instantly. We have information and images faster and sharper than ever before. What did these young men hope to gain? They had to know that the outcome would not be good. You may be able to blend in and be invisible for a short time, but the world has gotten smaller and finding those who want to be lost has gotten easier.
I have to think of their mother. The woman whose heart is broken beyond repair. The mother is always blamed. It doesn't matter how much she loved, how well she nurtured, in the end they made their own decisions. Whenever a violent act is committed we want to understand why. We would like to blame abuse, bullying, a terrible childhood. There are millions of people who have undergone some sort of abuse, who have been bullied and who will claim they had a terrible childhood whether they did or not. What is the definition of a terrible childhood? There are people who have had horrific things happen to them, people who can honestly say they their childhood was terrible. There are others who got cut from a team, didn't get to go to Disneyland, had hand me down clothes or who didn't get the luxury item they wanted. Those people may claim to have had terrible childhoods as well. Everything is defined by the perspective of an individual. If you interviewed an entire family everyone would have a different perspective. In the end what you do with your life, the decisions you make are completely up to you. They had a choice. They had a choice all the way up until the explosions happened. They chose death and destruction. Their lives were forfeit the moment they detonated the bombs. Young men with a lifetime of possibilities in front of them and they threw it all away.
I am no longer young, but I am not old yet either. I am still trying to decide what I want to do with my life. My greatest accomplishment has been being a mother. I love my children with all of my heart. I pray that they will make good decisions. I pray that they will understand about perspectives, choices and possibilities. I also hope that they understand that sometimes it is too late. We like to say that it is never too late to change, but there is a moment in time when you have a choice to make. If you choose wrong it very well could be too late. Sometimes you can be broken beyond repair and that is beyond sad............
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