As 2014 begins I am taking a look back on the roller coaster year that was 2013 and choosing to remember the highs as I let go of the lows. Low points were Kyle's soccer injury, the re-injuring of the knee and then the additional second and third surgeries needed to repair the damage. I had to work through the stages of grief along with Kyle as we were thankful that it was repairable, but sad because it was a senseless hit that caused it in the first place, the pain and the lost opportunities. I believe that in the end he will come out a stronger person and for that I am grateful. He has a new appreciation for things that he used to take for granted. Another low point was my failed attempt to help a friend by going on the Dr. Phil show. I learned a very important lesson about boundaries, imposing your beliefs on someone whether they are right or wrong and thinking that I could miraculously heal my friends' hurts. You can't save someone who doesn't believe that they need saving. It was painful to watch and even more painful to walk away.
Highlights of 2013 were the fun day spent in Hollywood with Angie, my dad's 80th birthday party, my trip to San Jose' with Linette so see Bon Jovi, having my last summer group be a big success, our multi-class reunion, Kyle getting his license, our grand-daughter, Piper being born, me getting a new job and our trip to Idaho over Christmas to meet Piper. I know I am probably forgetting a few other awesome things that happened during the year, but these are the ones, in order, that I can remember off of the top of my head.
I made a detailed list of the things I hoped to accomplish during 2013. As usual I was very ambitious and loaded it with more than was humanly possible. Of course the list itself is in the back of a notebook that I left at work, so I can't even pour over it to grade myself on my progress or lack of. I do know that I did accomplish some of the things and am happy for any successes. I know there are others that will carry over to 2014--not as resolutions, but as aspirations--things to strive for. If they happen, great, if they don't, I won't beat myself up. I have beat myself up way too much in the past. 2014 is a year to be gentle to myself, to try to be more health conscious, gain some energy, meditate more and maybe finally start being more serious about yoga and hiking which have embarrassingly enough have been on my list for at least four years. I will get to it. Just like I will get to writing. When the time is right, it will happen. All that I can do is de-clutter my life so that space opens up for things that would serve me better. I will have to drop a few things now that I am working full time. I haven't worked full time in over 20 years. Being a mom with a zillion little part-time jobs has been adventurous, but I'm ready to contribute more to decreasing the debt load in this house. Being a professional volunteer has been fun and I have met a lot of great people, learned a lot of awesome skills and have had some amazing experiences. I need to start thinking of the next chapter though.
I am hoping to write more in 2014. I started off writing at least one blog post per week in 2013. The content doesn't matter as much as the act itself. Getting me to sit down in front of a computer and write is the goal. Maybe one of these days I will take one of the several different novels that I have in varying stages and follow through with it. I was supposed to finish something in 2013. It didn't happen. I believe I put too much pressure on myself and that alone sucks any creativity out of me. I need to be able to relax and let whatever story wants to be told come automatically. I am starting to ramble. I am hoping that my over-thinking brain will calm down now that the holidays are over and start thinking of fun Blog topics for the new year. I miss the light funny ones--I hope I am able to create a few of those this year. Thanks for hanging in there and sharing the journey. I hope that 2014 holds some adventures for you as well. Let yourself imagine the possibilities then throw in a few aspirations.......
Once again you have captured your reader. Although I will admit I did not read all your posts last year, I have read a good majority of them. They made me laugh, cry, feel your pain, your emotions were so real that I know I was not the only one who could relate to what you shared. I look forward to 2014 writings whether you write weekly or not. And who knows, maybe this will be the year you and I get that hike in!!! :)
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