Mama told me there would be days like these........

Oh the joys of deciding to live a positive life.   You map out a plan, make a list or two, put some stuff on the calendar and decide nothing is going to get you down.  Then reality hits.  Reality is a bitch.  I wish I could live my entire life in a delusion filled dream where I float around without a care in the world bestowing light and happiness on everyone in my wake.  No, I haven't been eating any magic mushrooms today.  I am just fighting a nasty case of the blues.  Sometimes they blindside you and hit you like a ton of bricks.  You are going along feeling like things are looking up, then you fall on your face and wonder what just happened.  It is life, there are good days and bad days.  It is one big roller coaster.  You can fight it kicking and screaming, or you can put on your seat belt and enjoy the ride.  With  me, it seems there is a bit of both.  Today I seem to be kicking and screaming.  I really need to climb out of this hole I fell in over the weekend and find that nice warm cloud I was floating around on last week.

The sad thing is that it doesn't take much for negative thoughts to find me.  I swear there is an evil little voice in my head that loves to fill me with doubt and remind me that I'm not worthy of happiness.  What a nasty little thing it is.  Self-doubt, low self-esteem, echoes of the past~they are all residing somewhere in our heads waiting to take over.   I wish I could banish them completely.  I have tried several times and have been feeling pretty upbeat lately.  It just takes one little slip, one negative whisper, a bit of negative energy and the next thing I know I am in a melancholy fog feeling overwhelmed.

I am learning the power of positive thinking, the importance of surrounding myself with positive people and giving myself a break once in awhile.  I am so very hard on myself as I am sure most people are.  I expect so much more out of me than I do others.  I am not super woman and that is okay.  There is no right or wrong way to go about change, no race and no opinion that really matters more than my own.  I am on a path that only I can navigate.  I have been given some awesome traveling companions and cheerleaders.  If I have to surround myself with affirmations, then so be it.  I will make it.

Tomorrow I plan to wake up and make it a good day.  No negative thoughts, no worries or regrets--just a good attitude, a new day and thousands of possibilities.......