Almost seventeen years ago we were approached at church and asked to host an exchange student from Japan. Seriously? Us host? When I was growing up the exchanges students were always hosted by the rich people with big houses. We were under thirty, living in a small ranch style house and pregnant with our third child. I declined as the student would be there during the final month of my pregnancy and there was no way I could think of entertaining a stranger in the August heat with two toddlers and a giant belly that was about to burst. When they asked if they could call me the next year I said sure. I was sure I would be able to think of an excuse to turn them down again.
In June of 1997 they called again. They had a Japanese boy that needed a host family for three weeks in August. They were having trouble placing boys and would really appreciate it if we could help them out. My husband wasn't really thrilled with the idea but the young woman who was looking for families was our babysitter and she was in a bind. We decided that we would give it a try. As fate would have it Seiji Morimoto was dropped off on our doorstep. At well over six feet tall he was not your typical Japanese boy. He came with empty suitcases. His family owned fruit orchards in Japan, he was forever trying to find good work boots and comfortable shoes that could fit his large feet. It was hard to get footwear in Japan for a reasonable price. Seiji had a list of the brands and colors he wanted. It was a well thought out list that was a little trickier to find in 1997 than it would be today with our instant Internet searches. We bonded over shoe shopping. Antone enjoyed the boy and had the time of his life showing him around the area and taking him camping with our family. The wonderful experience opened our hearts and our minds.
In the spring of 1998 I was asked if I would consider coordinating a Japanese group. They told me that with my personality and organizational skills I would be a natural. I was nervous and still juggling toddlers, but agreed to give it a try. That was the first of fifteen years of working with exchange students and families. It hasn't been easy. There are glitches, a few disciplinary problems and finding host families is definitely a problem for me. I am not a sales person, I do not like to hound people and begging is embarrassing. I have heard every excuse imaginable. The most common excuse has got to be that there isn't enough room in their house. I have been told this by people who have one child in a 3,000sf home as well as the people whose homes are truly bursting at the seams. Not having room is not a valid excuse. I have had wonderful families with several children who have opened their small homes and made room for a student. It isn't about house size, it is about heart size. In my heart there is always room for one more.
I am a mom. It was what I was born to be. I was given an extra dose of nurturing skills that has made me try to mother everyone from my own mother to my friends, co-workers and just about anyone who comes to me with a broken heart or the need of someone to listen. I love people and am intrigued by our differences. I am naturally curious and want to know what makes people tick. I hate it when I find myself judging. I hate judging and have no right to judge anyone. I just wish people would really think about hosting without just shutting the idea out because it is beyond their comfort zone. Once they have thought about it for at least three minutes, then tell me the truth. I am not comfortable with having people in my home; I don't really have time--whatever the truth might be. It may be that teenagers of whatever nationality give you hives and you can't imagine having one more underfoot. It really is fine--we're all wired differently.
I just know that hosting has been a good thing in our house. It has brought us friendship, new experiences and has taught us how alike we all are under the surface. It doesn't matter what race, class, religion, sex or age we are--we all share similarities. So many students have passed through our doors that I can't remember them all. As a coordinator I have had the privilege of touching many lives. I hope that I have left some good impressions and planted a few seeds. Some of the students I have worked with are doctors, lawyers, husbands, wives and parents now. I am so happy that Facebook keeps me informed of their lives and accomplishments. I am proud of them. It takes a lot of courage to get on a plane, come to a foreign country and live among strangers. It also takes a lot of courage to open your home to someone you have never met. I can tell you that it is always an adventure. Sometimes we have run into some not so fun adventures, but that is what coordinators are for. I have had to move kids, reprimand kids and in a few cases put them back on a plane before they were scheduled to depart. These cases have been rare. Teenagers are teenagers and if you keep your expectations realistic, you just might be pleasantly surprised.
As a mom I want to find the best possible families for each of these students. I think about my own children and have never put a student in a home that I wouldn't put my kids in. It wouldn't be fair. I can't have double standards no matter how many families I need and how desperate I feel. I do have people who ask why I try to place them in the spring when they don't come until summer. I try to place students as soon as possible so that their parents know where their kids are going. They can even start writing to the family and ask questions and get to know one another before the group comes. I can't imagine putting a child on the plane with no clue where they would be going once they landed in a foreign land. The one time that I have sent my child away I was lucky enough to know exactly who she was spending time with. She was with our wonderful extended Brazilian family that we have in our lives because of hosting. People that I truly love and enjoy spending time with.
Fifteen years have gone by. My toddlers are grown and my husband is ready for some summer adventures of our own. I have promised that this year I will coordinate my last group. I won't lie--I have made this promise before. I have to try to stick to it this time around. At least for a year or two. I will miss drafting a calendar and the excitement of the arrival. I will miss the people that I meet and the fun little things that happen with each group. I won't miss frantically trying to wrack my brain for just one more host family. I was very lucky this last summer. My families came pretty easily and they were awesome. I have also said that I was done hosting school year students. That was short lived though because I was handed the right student at the right moment in time so our family is preparing the house for a new family member. His arrival is greatly anticipated and we are eager to share the little we have with him for the next ten months of our lives. There are other students out there who need homes as well. It is late August, they have prepared to spend this school year in the US. Many are still waiting for a family to accept them. I have had coordinator friends messaging me to ask if I know of anyone who would be willing to open their hearts to a student this fall. I can completely appreciate the last minute scrambling that these people do to try to help the students; I've been there before. It's a tough spot to be in and I don't envy them their job. Somehow the right families are always found. There are a lot of people out there with big hearts and a sense of adventure--the trick is always finding them.......
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