In 2008 my daughter started high school with high hopes and big dreams. The year started with her playing JVII soccer, getting straight A's and enjoying the activities available at a big school. Her High School had over 2500 students. She loved there and wanted to experience everything. In late October, near the end of her soccer season she contracted Mono. I'm sure it wasn't from kissing boys; she was burning the candle at both ends. I suspect she was doing too much and her body needed a rest. Bouncing back was much harder than expected. It became more and more difficult for her to get out of bed in the morning. She began to change and she didn't like who she was becoming. In January she was called in to the counseling office because her grades were dropping and her teachers had started noticing the change. We made an appointment with her pediatrician and she was diagnosed with depression which she treated it like a death sentence. She didn't want depression, she wanted to be the way she used to be, she wanted to deal with it by staying in bed. Her high school counselor came to the rescue. He made a huge impact on her life. The counselor talked to her like she was an adult. He didn't make her feel that there was anything wrong with her. He explained that depression wasn't the end of the world, it was a natural chemical imbalance that many people treat successfully. He helped her to establish goals and cheered her on. He helped her through her freshman year and made solid plans for their continued work together for her sophomore year. She went into the summer full of hope and feeling like she was in control.
When we arrived at registration in August to prepare for the new year she was told that her counselor was out on medical leave. She would have an interim counselor but shouldn't worry because he would be back as soon as he was able. She kept her head up and went into the year trying to juggle her two loves--soccer and drama. They overlapped a little, but she was sure that she could handle it. In October we went to conference night and her teachers all had great things to say. We were told that her counselor was doing better and hoped to be back in his office at school by Christmas break. She was thrilled. That feeling of elation didn't last long. In late October Kelli's counselor was found dead in his car in state park. He had taken his own life. The counselor had been battling an issue that doctors couldn't seem to control. His adrenaline was going non stop and it was taking a toll on his organs. He couldn't sleep and was unable to think clearly. He was worried that his problem was draining their medical insurance and about what would be left over for his wife, their small daughter and the unborn baby? I do not believe he was able to think rationally about what he was doing. The results were tragic for everyone who cared about him. My daughter went into a spiral. Her depression was overtaking her again and she had lost the ally that she had formed at school.
We have had a roller coaster ride over the past 5 years. Some months are better than others. I will gain hope, then start worrying again because things can fall apart really quickly. Last week there was an assignment in her college communications class to give a commemorative speech about someone who has made an impact on your life. She didn't even have to think about who her speech was going to be about. She gave a beautiful speech about her beloved counselor who she still misses. In the speech she talked about how she only really knew him from January until June but during that time he gave her some tools that she will use for the rest of her life.
As part of this same communications class she had one last assignment for the term, she needed to go see a public speaker and do a paper rating that speaker. She had forgotten about this assignment. She'd had the entire term to complete it but now there were only a few days left and she had to come up with a public speaker soon in order to pass the class. I invited her along with me to a class being given by Renee Madsen, an area medium who I respect and adore. I have been to many of Renee's classes over the past few years. She is one of the happiest, most positive people that I have ever met. My Southern Baptist upbringing caused me some guilt at first. I was taught that mediums and psychics were satanic and that it was a grave sin to have anything to do with any of them. I wondered what the prophets were if not psychics. There are prophets throughout the Bible. I have also studied Edgar Cayce who has been labeled as a modern day prophet who was a very religious man. Renee believes in God. She brings a message of love, light and hope.
I had signed up for Renee's class because I planned to take my aunt. She had lost her husband the year before and has been grief stricken. Renee's class was on communicating with our lost loved ones. I wasn't sure if Renee could help my aunt or not and wasn't sure how my aunt would react to Renee. In the end my aunt ended up backing out but I couldn't because my daughter needed to see a public speaker and her professor had given the okay for this one. Renee's classes are two hours long. I enjoy them because I am interested in spirituality. My daughter is going through a phase where she doesn't believe in anything she can't see. She was definitely bored during the class. She was both physically and emotionally uncomfortable. She didn't love Renee, but she didn't hate her either. She just wanted the class over with so she could go home, write the paper and be done with it.
After the class I introduced Renee to my daughter. Renee asked her if she had noticed that during the class she was trying to tell her that there was a young man there for her. My daughter couldn't think of a young man who would be there from the spirit world and so didn't believe that Renee could have been talking about her. Renee said that the young man really wanted to let my daughter know that he was sorry. He didn't mean to leave the way that he did, it was beyond his control. He was amazed that so many people cared about him and that his passing caused so much grief. Renee said he had brown hair and was kind of goofy. One thing that you should know about my daughter's counselor is that even though he was 31 when he died, he had boyish features and could be taken for someone younger. He had a silly sense of humor as well. Renee went on to say that the young man didn't want my daughter to be so hard on herself. That she needed to try. He also told Renee to tell my daughter January til June. Renee had no clue what that meant but the young man said that my daughter would know. The speech my daughter gave to her communications class last week was not published. It was given to her class at CCC and read aloud to her boyfriend and me. We didn't talk about it to anyone. At this point my daughter still claims that she doesn't believe in things she can't see, but she does find it thought provoking that Renee told her January til June. Whether her counselor was there or not, the message that was given was one of hope that I believe he would have wanted her to hear. A message that reminds her that he thought she was worthwhile and she should view herself that way as well. It only takes a short time to make a big impact in someone's life. In my daughter's case it was 5 short months, but the lessons he left her with will last her lifetime.
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